This morning was one of those morning which I was overwhelmed with a need to draw. After making sure I had food in my stomach I found my sketchbook and pencils, turned to a drawing and was consumed by it. It was one of those moments when the only thing that mattered was the paper and pencil. I studied the drawing and took careful attention about where I should be placing lines and shadows. Often after spending a long time on a drawing I start to see everything around me differently. I start to see lines everywhere. I promise I am not crazy. Slowly while moving the pencil, the drawing in front of me came to life. It was no longer just lines on paper. I was over joyed as this drawing has taken me longer than normal and I have still not finished it. I am very happy to share the progress with you and even more excited to share the finished drawing in a few days time.
I sat down this morning to finish my coffee after my husband left for work. I decided that I should get back into the habit of having my own personal devotion time with God, as in the past it had been the highlight of my day. However with moving and now not having a set schedule I have let this slip a little. So I pulled out my Bible and journal while taking a sip of what was left of my coffee. I started by pages through my journal and was immediately encourage to see how far God has brought me within the last few months. I have overcome many challenges with God. I was surprised as I paged to my last entry I had written the previous week, as I realized that I had only written down a verse. The rest of the page lay blank. This confused me as I sort of have an obsession with making sure that I fill up the page and leave no areas blank. Sometimes I even draw hearts, flowers or even vines to make sure I have not wasted any space available to me.
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.” – 1 John 4:18
As I read the verse it became alive in my heart. In the past I knew the verse and understood what it meant but it had never come alive to me in this way. While reading this verse I knew God was touching my heart and speaking into my life. Immediately I began to write down what was in my heart and draw a picture that came to mind. I realized that I no longer have to be afraid because God is with me and He loves me beyond my understanding. I wouldn’t say that I am a person who is crippled by fear but there are moments in my life when fear holds me back and prevents me from doing things, especially things I feel God is telling me to do. I am sure many of you can relate to this in some way. I have in the past been afraid of being hurt, or rejected. I have been afraid of what people with think of me. Most recently I tend to struggle with the fear of failing.
You may experience other fears like being alone, forgotten, or unworthy. Others may fear being disrespected or being belittled. Still other may fear experiencing the loss of a loved one. There are so many things in this world that cause fear. The list could go on and on. However, like me you no longer have to be afraid, as God’s love drives out all fear. Yes, there may be moments when fear starts to take root, because of a certain situation. But, those are the moments when we can choose to remember this verse and ask a God to show us His love. We can lay down our fears, so that we can allow ourselves to be embraced in His amazing love.
Above is a picture I drew within my journal. Like this one these drawings are often very rough at first. Sometimes I later choose to do a realistic version of it or do a painting.
In the picture I saw a father walking with His child. The child was not afraid of anything because she was walking with her father. I realized that God is walking with us and we don’t have to be afraid because He is our father. Not only is He our father but He is also the king of the universe and the creator of all things. We are His children whom He loves. He does not want us to live in fear. He wants us to know His love (John 3:16)
In God’s hands is a drawing that I have been working on for a while now and it is still incomplete. Every so often I sit down and spend a few minutes working on it. I hope to share with you the finished drawing in a few days in a better quality. When I first started this drawing I didn’t know what it meant to me, I just had a deep desire to draw it. However, throughout the process of drawing it God has revealed it’s meaning to me and challenged me. To me this drawing means being in God’s hands, resting in His love and trusting that He knows what is best for my life.
However lately I have been struggling to believe this and so I put aside this drawing for a month or two. Sometimes life is difficult and being the stubborn person I am I want to be in control of the situation. About a month ago while going through a personal crisis I felt God say, “Are you ready to let go? Are you ready to trust me? Are you ready to rest in my love?” I knew that meant God was wanting me to rest in the palm of His hand and trust Him. There has been moments when I forgot this but God never forgot about me, He gently reminded me of what He had said and that His plan is better than my own. So I have once again taken up my pencil to complete this drawing. Keep an eye out to see the completed drawing in a few days time.
I was born with a deep desire to create and do art. I often find myself in the middle of the night with the burning desire to get up to draw or paint. I remember that from a very young age I that I loved to spend time being creative. In pre-school I was crazy about figure painting and drawing. When I grew older at school I was filled with excited when were given creative writing assignments. I loved to create stories to share and make people smile. As I grew older I had a deep desire to draw and paint. But in the teenage years I was afraid that people would not appreciate my art and so I decided not to put too much effort in. I was afraid that people would make fun of my artwork. Grade 10 came with the opportunity to choose elective subjects for the last 3 years of school. Visual art was a subject that I longed to do but due to fear I signed but for physical science instead. However after three weeks I started losing my mind. I was upset that I was stuck in science while my other class mates enjoyed art. so I decided to take a bold step and transferred to the visual art class. It was one of the best decisions that I had made during my time at high school. The first year I was remained fearful. Until we had a new teacher who challenged and inspired me to further discover and develop my talent. So I set out to create my first realistic drawing. I was amazed by what I was able to draw. (Unfortunately I don’t have a picture of this drawing.) I then did a series of art works that spoke into my life personally. Above is one of the drawings I did during this stage of my life in 2009. I apologize for the quality of the photo, I am not a very experienced photographer and was even worse then. Through this series of art works I discover that I have a voice in art and that I could make an impact using it. I knew that God had blessed me with this talent of creativity. I am still not entirely sure why God blessed me with this talent. I guess that you could say I am on a journey of discovery at the moment. I try to take the lead from God and create art pieces that are inspired by what I feel He puts on my heart.